Hart Journeys

Do you know how angry, defiant, and needy teenagers can be? Well I've had one living inside me for a looooong time. She is the part of me that is angry on the outside and filled with fear on the inside. I had been working with a spiritual coach to show her that the world is safe and that she could come out. On my Peaceful Woman Maui Passage I was determined to guide her out.

The first few days of my retreat were amazing and yet I felt uncomfortable and struggled with headaches. By Wednesday I had had it! Luckily for me it was Volcano day. We learned about the goddess, Pele, and spent the morning walking in the lava fields. Bentley was there to sing us on our adventure. When we reached our beach in the middle of the lava fields, I climbed a tree sheltered away from the group and wrote in my journal with my teen-self. We had a good cry and then went to sit by the ocean.

That afternoon and evening we spent at Jeana Naluai's building a traditional Hawaiian sweat lodge. I took the first shift shoveling the blazing rocks into the sweat. On each of the first two rounds I sat and chanted and sweated with the group. On the third and final round, we chanted and then I felt myself reach inside my being and pull that teenager right out. I assured her that she was safe and that within the sacred circle of sisters, taro leaves and music was the perfect place to finally emerge. Immediately I felt as if a giant weight had been removed from my abdomen. I felt light and giddy.

The next day was waterfall day. I nearly ran into the middle of the bamboo forest. I was the first to jump into the pool of clear, cool water at the foot of each of the waterfalls. I was boisterous, brave and happy, just like a teenager.